Chapter 6 - The Long Wait
“...My plans for the future? I have none, or rather they are so commonplace and simple that they are not worth talking about. I mean to get through as well as I can, and when I can do no more, say farewell to this base world. The loss will be small, and regret for me will be short-as for so many others.”
What caused Mademoiselle Marya, as her peasant pupils called her, to lose hope?
Looking back, it seems a few things led to her being very unhappy. After a year living in the countryside, her dream of studying in Paris at the Sorbonne seemed even further away. To make things worse, her job as a governess with the Z family started to become difficult.
She had truly become a part of the family. She often went on long walks with Monsieur Z and had developed a strong bond with the entire household, particularly with the eldest son, Casimir. A university student in Warsaw, he would return home to be greeted by a beautiful, poised, and intelligent young woman whom he greatly enjoyed spending time with during his academic breaks. Mutual feelings of love developed between them. With little hesitation, Casimir approached his parents to secure their approval for their engagement. But in an instant, everything took a turn.
“One does not marry a governess.”
His father erupted in anger and his mother nearly swooned. How could their son, poised to marry the wealthiest women in their community, choose as his bride someone whose livelihood involved working in other people's homes? It mattered little that Manya hailed from a highly educated and respected family, that she was refined and carried an impeccable reputation. All of that was seemingly irrelevant. The situation was further complicated by Casimir's mild mannered nature; he wasn't one to confront his parents. Abruptly, social boundaries were erected within the household, creating a palpable tension.
As much as Manya yearned to escape this uncomfortable environment, she had no viable alternatives. She was the sole financial support for Bronya, who was still attending school in Paris, so enduring the strained circumstances was the only viable option.
With no other options, she threw herself into study, delving into subjects such as Daniel’s Physics sociology via Spencer's writings on Sociology, and anatomy from Paul Bers' book.
“I read several things at a time: the consecutive study of a single subject would wear out my poor little head which is already much overworked. When I feel myself quite unable to read with profit, I work problems of algebra or trigonometry, which allow no lapses of attention and get me back into the right road.”
For two more years she was trapped away in the countryside trying to learn chemistry from books borrowed from the factory, she continued teaching the peasant children and saw to the education of the young children in the Z family having one year left before the children would take their exams and her job would be complete. The largest lesson she said she learned during this time:
First Principle: never to let one’s self be beaten down by persons or by events.
